Cupid
by sunshard
Summary: Hao's dead, yes. But he's back, as a demi-god of the Great Spirit! Which god, exactly? Cupid! "Crazy for you" has just gotten a whole new meaning...but then, there's Jeanne, isn't there? Updated! Finally!
1. The Reward

-sigh- new AU, pretty much same pairings, and...er...YEAH. Read on. Probably non-sequitur...but let's ignore that fact, shall we? 'Hao's dead, yes. But he's back, as a demi-god of the Great Spirit! Which god, exactly? Cupid! Watch as our dear akuma wreaks match-making havoc on the Mankin gang! But can a god fall in love, too? YohxAnna, RenxPirika, HoroxTamao, LysergxMillie, HaoxJeanne' Heehee...I make Hao think about his hair too much...ANYWAYS, apologies to Christians (I'm one myself in fact), just...think of the Great Spirit as God or something. -sigh- or is that only making more blasphemy?

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**Disclaimer**: Owning Shaman King is not a thing I do.

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_Cupid_

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Chapter One: The Reward

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_somewhere between the second heavens (space) and the third heavens (the land of the great spirit)_

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Hao was floating in darkness. Floating, and being quite dead. And bored. Floating, dead, and bored. What a dangerous combination.

The akuma would have very much preferred to become a ghost and pester his "other half"--twin--for the rest of his lifetime, but obviously the Great Spirit wouldn't let that happen. Boredly twiddling with his hair (his very pride and joy, which, thankfully, at death hadn't gotten damaged or anything), Hao waited for something to happen.

And waited.

After waiting a few more years, in Earth-time (but actually just five minutes in death-time), Hao began thinking of committing suicide in death so maybe it'd somehow reverse everything and speed up his revival, a choir of white, pretty, shining angels on wings descended near him. _'Reminds me of that French girl Jeanne,'_ Hao smirked mentally, sitting up in air at sight of them.

One in the front with a eternal look of smelling dung on his face flew towards the fire devil. He gave Hao a derisive look, who derisive-looked him right back and threw a fireball at him.

After the angel stopped screaming and trying to put out flames that quickly disappeared after a few moments (Hao propped his face up with one of his hands and snickered), he composed himself and glared at the evil twin, unrolling a fancy-looking scroll in one pompous movement. "'You have been summoned,'" he read (glaring at Hao again), "'Asakura Hao (intentionally pronouncing Hao wrong and earning another fireball in the face this time), to the third heavens, realm of the Great Spirit, to converse with the god of all gods, ruler of all the heavens and earth, creator of cosmos...also known as the Great Spirit.'" The angel coughed. "You will come with us and _no fireballing_," he snapped, pursing his lips and making his face look even more grotesque. Hao shrugged and conjured up a small ball of fire, illuminating everything in a five-foot radius around him. _'Maybe I'll be able to map the route to the "third heavens,"' _he mused.

Not much hope in that. There was a gust of wind (Hao would bet all of his possessions, including his hair, that the angel had made it on purpose) that blew out his fire and, then, they had entered a tower and were standing in the chamber of the Great Spirit (as Hao presumed).

The chamber was round and was seemed immensely larger than the slender tower could possible encompass. Built entirely of white marble, there were no support beams, no columns. The room soared upwards hundreds of feet to create a dome at the very top of the tower where a beautiful mosaic was inlaid, glittering tile portraying the blue sky and sun on one half; the silver moon and stars on the other half, the halves separated by a rainbow.

There were no lights in the chamber. Cunningly built windows and mirrors focused sunlight into the room, no matter where the sun was located in the sky. (How could the sun still be here, in the third heavens?) The streams of sunlight converged to the center of the chamber, illuminating a rostrum.

But Hao wasn't very impressed. "I wouldn't suppose this is the chamber of the Great Spirit, would I?" he asked a female angel with long silver hair next to him. She gave him a look. "Obviously not," she snorted in a very un-angelic way (then again, all the angels are being twisted in this story, so forget I said that). "This is the waiting room."

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_the first heavens (sky)_

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Amidamaru floated listlessly on the winds, staring up at the third heavens sadly. That was where Mosuke was. And Tearsong, of course. Tearsong. The samurai snorted. How could he fall in love with one he had only met for a moment? He hadn't ever actually gotten to know her, let alone speak to her.

Tearsong had been one of the orphans that had lived with Amidamaru and Mosuke when they had been younger (around...630 years ago, oO). But, she had only bound one of his wounds after he had broken Harusame a second or third time (it really happened in the anime! Really!). Then, Mosuke and him had gone off to get a job. Which had resulted in disaster. And Tokageroh, Amidamaru and Mosuke's untimely deaths...which weren't so untimely, were they?

Amidamaru sighed. Tearsong was definitely dead, and there was no chance she had become a spirit ally of a shaman...

Was there?

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---- (don't you think that was a useless interlude?)

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_the third heavens_

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Hao had been lead up to the rostrum by the silver-haired angel (who _really_ reminded him of Jeanne this time -why was he thinking of Jeanne so much?-). The rostrum turned out, not to be a stage, but an elevator. Hao frowned. If the angels could fly, what was the point of it?

The rostrum-elevator thing finally stopped rising at a warp portal in the middle of the air. Hao grinned at the angel, who looked at him. "Ladies first," he said.

"I'm not coming with you. Hurry up, convict," she answered sharply, shoving him into the portal. The last she heard of him was a sarcastic "What? So now I'm a criminal?"

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_chamber of the great spirit_

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Hao found himself standing in front of a huge throne surrounded with light. Hao looked at it bemusedly while the light slowly dimmed, then faded, revealing...the Iron Maiden Jeanne?

"It's about time you're here," she said, folding her hands behind her back. "Were the angels being spiteful again?"

Hao stared. "...What are you doing here?"

The girl stared back. "I'm the Great Spirit, and this is my realm."

"Is it possible for a dead person to go insane?"

Ignoring the comment, Jeanne began pacing. "You must be talking about that charm I have on me. If you actually ever looked at my real form, you wouldn't have a chance of being reincarnated again. So, I assume the form of whoever you want to see the most." She paused, frowning. "Who am I, anyway?"

Hao put his finger on his chin. "...One of my legitimate wife-to-be if I had lived longer," he finally said thoughtfully. _'Why DO I keep thinking about that French girl?'_

The Great Spirit cocked its head to one side. "Who, that itako chick? Asakura Kyouyama Anna?"

Hao sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Well, no, but she was one of my possible wives. Too bad my twin took her. What gender are you, anyway?" he asked, skillfully changing the subject.

The Great Spirit stared. "Male. Obviously. Then again, it changes every now and then, so I'm not too sure," it mused, placing its finger on its chin.

"No wonder such a deep voice was emitting from Jeanne's voicebox," murmured Hao, snickering silently. "Would you mind if I made your image as...my father, instead?"

The Great Spirit shook its--er, his--head, and the image flickered to Mikihisa, bird mask and all. Hao smiled, half-patronizingly, half-balefully. "So, let's get down to business, shall we?"

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Hao delicately placed his fingers on one another, forming a peak. "So...you think I've been behaving good enough ("besides the fireball incident," the Great Spirit intervened)...besides the fireball incident, and you want to reward me."

The Great Spirit nodded. "What do you want?"

"To be revived and torture my twin brother for the rest of his days?" Hao said hopefully.

The Great Spirit frowned. "That could actually be arranged, you know."

A vase spontaneously combusted and fell to the floor with a crash, as Hao was oh so surprised. "Is there a catch?" he inquired suspiciously.

"Would you mind becoming Cupid?"

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**_tzusuku_**

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There ends the first, and uneventful chapter. Don't ask why the Great Spirit was rewarding him. Don't ask why Amidamaru has a lost love person thingy. Don't ask why Hao is so...so. My inspiration petered out around the part that Amidamaru started angsting. All I liked was the beginning. Just leave me alone and review...I don't know how Hao has his fire powers without his furyoku...and, oh yeah, review or DIE.


	2. The Appearance

yatte, I actually got some reviews! Thanks you guys!

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Falcon Strife: -wink- actually, I was planning on making Hao mess up on all his little match-ups. How'd you know? I just mean, he'll screw up for a bit, but in the end it'll be Yohna, HoroTamao, etcetera etcetera. I do those pairings because they're so common because people like them...did that make sense? Thanks for you criticism, anyway! I don't mind.

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wingweaver22: -stares at her as if her just asks her if entrails are inside or outside- dudette...-points at genre obviously announcing "Romance/HUMOR"-

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Yohna: Hao definitely has good taste! (And good looks. Hee-hee...)

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Cindy Asakura and s91: thanks!

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kitty81090: I definitely will be writing lots of HaoxJeanne in the near future. ;D

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By the way, Yoh and Anna and co. are around eighteen now.

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**Disclaimer**: hmm, let's play a little game of twenty questions. First question: do I own Shaman King? NO! Now leave me alone to sulk in my dark corner. -sulks in dark corner-

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_Cupid_

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Chapter Two: The Appearance

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_earth, asia, japan, funbari onsens, anna and yoh's room_

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Anna emerged from the bathroom, hair dripping and a towel wrapped around her figure. She was grabbing some clothes from her bureau when the electricity abruptly went out.

Hearing the cries of surprise and fright from the other residents and customers of the onsens, Anna tightened the cream towel around her firmly and opened a drawer, searching for a flashlight so she could go down in the basement and check the basements. "Where's that stupid light Manta gave us," she grumbled while scuffling through the contents of the drawer. "Horo Horo better not have eaten it or something."

But, apparently, her search was un-needed. (INSERT DRAMATIC MUSIC HERE.) There was a sudden movement, a flare of light, and there stood Asakura Hao, the evilest shaman to live (or die, haha), holding a fire in the palm of his hand and smirking.

"Need light?"

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--- (sorry for that hopeless cliché. -coughs pathetically like Howl from Howl's Moving Castle-)

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_the kitchen, a few minutes later_

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"Parent killer!"

Hao rubbed his temples. "Since when did Lyserg get invited to our little...tryst?" he grinned, winking at Anna. Anna just glared and crossed her arms over her chest. "Since I said so. Now shut up and tell me what you're doing here."

Hao opened his mouth to say something, but Yoh beat him to it. "That's contradictory, Anna-chan..." he said nervously, raising a finger. Hao grinned. "Twins think alike!"

Anna glowered at him. "That doesn't pronounce you innocent! What are you doing here?" she demanded once more.

"Parent killer!" Lyserg accused again.

Hao rubbed his temples, closing his eyes with a sigh. "As I said before," he began, casually flicking a spark of ember onto Lyserg's Sherlock-Holmes-biting-off-coat and setting it aflame, "I'm a demi-god. The god...Cupid, to be exact."

Anna's eye twitched. "You're lying," she said bluntly.

"And you, my dear Anna, are very wrong," Hao replied, just as bluntly. "If you'd like a demonstration..." He smiled slyly.

"Hurry up with it," she snapped back.

Hao's smile grew to an evil grin and held his hand out in front of him. A bow materialized on it, while a quiver of arrows appeared, slung over his back. Picking two short, red-tipped arrows from the quiver, he notched them to his bow, aimed, and fired at his surprised twin and his green-haired rival with (ahem) godly speed and accuracy.

Anna gasped as the arrows struck Yoh and Lyserg, then disappeared in a flurry of red sparkles. The two seemed unhurt, yet dazed.

Turning to Hao angrily, she raised her hand to slap him, and did--but her hand passed right through his face, as though...he was a ghost. (Dun dun dun! Apparently so...-sweatdrop-) "What did you do to them?" she hissed irately.

Hao just shook his head and motioned for her to look at Lyserg and Yoh, grinning maniacally.

(!! SHOUNEN-AI WARNING HERE. COULDN'T HELP IT. NOT THAT I LIKE SHOUNEN-AI. HAD TO HAPPEN. -dies- ALL IN THE HORRIBLE NAME OF HUMOR. !!)

Lyserg turned to Yoh. Yoh turned to Lyserg. They stared at each other with expressions of such love and adoration that Anna stepped backwards. Then their faces inched towards each other--

"What spell have you cast on my husband and Lyserg?" Anna shrieked in Hao's ear, pointing at the kissing duo.

Hao nonchalantly polished off his golden bow, trying to contain his smugness but failing miserably. "A love spell," he said unnecessarily. "You...should have listened to me in the first place," he snickered. "Not to worry, Anna dear, the spell will wear off in twenty minutes. So we'll be alone in that time..." he raised his eyebrow suggestively.

Anna was just about to try and slap him again when Horo Horo and Tamao walked by the kitchen, Tamao saying to Horo Horo, "Then you take a knife and make an 'x' in the middle of the pie...HAO?!!"

Hao sighed mock-abysmally. "You guys really hate me, don't you?"

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_thirty minutes later_

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The spell had worn off (thankfully), Horo Horo had finally managed to get Tamao to stop hyperventilating, and Ren, Pirika, Manta, and Ryu had come over.

"...So let me get this straight," Ryu said slowly, trying to hold his cup elegantly and failing miserably, "You've been sent back to Earth by the Great Spirit as a reward of your...'good behavior'."

"And," Manta continued for him, sitting on a chair made especially for him and his height (which hadn't increased over the years), "the Great Spirit has bestowed upon you the powers of Cupid."

"'So he can inflict chaos on the Shaman King and his family and friends as he wishes,'" Ren read off the contract the Great Spirit had conjured up for Hao to show them. "Signed, the Great Spirit." The Chinese shaman looked up and banged his carton of milk (if you haven't noticed, in the anime his milk is always in these weird little cartons shaped like pyramids, o.O) down on the table. "Why should we believe you?" he asked in disgust to the fire akuma.

"It has the Great Spirit's signature, doesn't it?" Hao said innocently. "Why haven't you tried to kill me yet if you didn't believe me, anyway? And just ask Lyserg or Yoh. My spell worked, didn't it?"

Lyserg and Yoh glanced at each other occasionally and shuddered every now and then. Ren turned back to Hao, looking even more disgusted. "That still doesn't prove anything!" he snapped.

Hao tapped the parchment and sipped his tea, closing his eyes and raising his face to the ceiling. "There's a post script, if you didn't notice."

There was a mad scramble to look at the paper while Hao persisted to put his nose in the air. "'P.S. I, the undersigned, Asakura Hao, agree to these conditions made by the Great Spirit of the Three Heavens and the One Earth as long as I also agree not to destroy my twin's descendants' lives when I get reincarnated five hundred years later,'" Pirika read off of the document, leaning over Ren's shoulder to see it; her hair hung over his face. Her hair smelled nice, Ren thought. Then his hair twitched. Since when did he think of his gluttonous ally's sister like that?!

Hao, with his special-spiffy-cool-seksay-mind-reading powers, noted this gleefully.

Anna looked over to Hao. "What should happen if we refuse?" she inquired, giving him an Evil Eye.

Hao continued drinking his tea, looking offhand. "Ahh...all that'll happen will be..." he paused to think. "You'll be inflicted by ten plagues, be struck barren/never be able to bear children with your...loved one, your furyoku and shaman powers will be taken away, you'll all be separated from each other, and...oh yeah, you'll be struck by lightning," he concluded, smiling brightly at them.

Horo Horo finally spoke up. "Why did the Great Spirit go through all this trouble just for _you_?" he asked.

"Well, I've always believed that the Great Spirit had a soft spot for me," said Hao thoughtfully. "Fine, fine," he amended hastily when everyone glared at him. "I'm not too sure about that...but it makes up a great plot for a story, doesn't it?"

Everyone stared at him again.

"...I'll shut up now."

Hana, who had snuck up behind Hao and taken a curiously-shaped bottle from one of his back pockets, had been playing with it for the whole discussion. Suddenly, the cork came free and fell out, letting loose a huge cloud of pink smoke that descended upon the Mankin gang.

Let the chaos begin, shall we?

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**_tsuzuku_**

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Ehehehe...kind of a boring chapter, but I had to do SOMETHING. O.o I have no idea WHEN the heck Anna bore Hana, so I just winged it and...yeah. T.T Review, or I'll sic Opacho and Manta on you! . 


	3. The Meeting

Dedicated randomly to my own personal Asakura twins…seriously…I mean, they even have the same initials! Er, one of them anyway. Yeah, I'm caught in a dilemma. Andrew (aka Hao) is who I like, but, er, Golden (aka Yoh) likes me. X.x Don't ask. Pleeeease. Oh, and thanks to my sister Chrestonanci, who gave me help on French.

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Daaku Kitsune: FOURTEEN?!! GAVE BIRTH AT FOURTEEN?!! –faints- aHEM, that's…INTERESTING. Thanks. –sweatdrop- Oh yeah huh, it was in the manga or something…

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Flower-girl018: well, Anna's obviously going with Yoh! And Hao is…-cough-

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Xylacorabi: -stares- I told you not to review. Then again, I did tell you to review. THE LYSERG AND YOH THING WAS A JOKE. ALL IN THE NAME OF SICK, SICK HUMOR. X.X NOW MAKE JENNY REVIEW OR ELSE I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR READING CHRISTMAS DANCE.

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bOw-doWn-tO-KeiKO, Story Weaver1, Absolute-Darkness, Cindy Asakura, s91, Keitorin Asthore, Nakashima-Michiyo, kitty-81090: thanks!

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Wingweaver22: ;; ahh, well, I had to do it at Yoh and Lyserg because they were the only people there and Hao was demonstrating for Anna and I was trying to make it…funny…-sweatdrop- -blink- sorry I didn't know you were a girl.

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Yohna: huh? I include Hana a lot? –confused- the kid, or the pairing? Erm, well, for the kid, I'm not sure I've ever included him before, and as for the pairing…oh dear, I'll have to get rid of the habit.

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Anyone else I forgot, my bad. Maybe you just reviewed too late. X.x (that doesn't make sense.)

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**Disclaimer**: (insert witty disclaimer here, I have no inspiration today)

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_Cupid_

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Chapter Three: The Meeting

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Hao sighed in dejection, gazing out into the blue. After the potion accident (in which Hana had dropped a Love Potion 9 on the floor and caused…well, let's just say it was very, very fascinating –what an understatement!-), and after Anna had recovered from the effects of the concoction, she had immediately kicked him out of the house (though that demented kid Hana, whose fault it had been through and through, had pleaded for him to stay—what the heck?).

Suddenly the sky darkened. Clouds closed in on the sun, and it began to rain. Hard. Hao's eye twitched. Not that the rain effected him or anything, but it seemed the Fates were against him today…he could tell!! He could even see them, flying around like insane maniacs, cackling. Smiling sarcastically, Hao flipped them off and started walking east, shoulders hunched, the rain driving through his incorporeal body.

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Anna ran over to the sink and threw up.

After Hao had come over and created disaster, Ryu had fled—embarrassed, that in his time of being bespelled, he had…er…tried to court Lyserg. Surprisingly, Lyserg held out against fainting (even after two men had kissed him that day –I love torturing Lyserg! XD …sorry-) and stayed.

Tamao had left, too, but not before doing a coin prediction for Yoh. The foretelling said that he would find someone special coming into his life. Then Anna had thrown up.

Pirika cast Yoh an alarmed look and ran over to Anna, who was coughing abysmally. Ren's hair twitched.

"Don't tell me you got her pregnant again," he mumbled, looking over his shoulder to glare at Hana, who was torturing Bason-in-spirit-form mercilessly and laughing in that _evil,_ _cute_, BABY-way. Ugh.

So Yoh wasn't too sure if the special someone coming into his life was Hao or his new kid. Horo Horo suggested that he might be getting a new refrigerator. Anna somehow found the strength to slap him.

And through all this, Amidamaru silently angsted his heart out.

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_around a day ago (_also known as a flashback)_, the third heavens, realm of the great spirit _

_After the contract had been formed, Hao and the Great Spirit had signed, and everything had been legally bound, recorded in some random place, and sent to the second heavens to be copied, the Great Spirit decided that Hao needed to be tested first if he was good at matchmaking or not._

_Hao and the Spirit floated in oblivion, white oblivion this time, overlooking a great cloud that acted as a television screen for them. _

_The Great Spirit explained the dilemma. "There's been a bit of a problem," he explained. "Dove—" he pointed at the silver haired seraph that had chaperoned Hao on the rostrum a few hours ago—"is pledged to marry Aruke." He looked over to the sour-faced angel Hao had fireballed a few times. "However, she's in love with Halo." The all-powerful Spirit nodded towards an attractive-looking angel with long, black hair, and dark eyes. "I cannot have warring angels in my realm," the Great Spirit continued, "So I must do something about it, or there will be blood spilled. What do you suggest I do?"_

"_Angels have blood? And they marry?" inquired Hao, amused. Without waiting for an answer, he grinned. "The solution is obvious. Let Dove marry Halo. After all—" he shrugged—"true love shouldn't be disrupted, should it?" His grin grew bigger. "Especially not in the _Great_ Spirit's realm." The god glared at him. Hao just ran his hand through his hair and went on. "Let Aruke marry Dove's sister, or relation, if she has one. Then we'll all be happy, won't we?" he concluded, smiling brightly at the Great Spirit and dusting imaginary dirt off of his crème cloak._

_The Great Spirit stared at him._

"_Oh, fine," Hao amended, placing his finger on his chin. "I'll tell you really why I made that decision. Halo looks like me. And Dove looks like one of my possible wives-to-be's." _

_The god sweatdropped. "I suppose you pass," he muttered, clapping his hands once and shutting the television-cloud off. "I've arranged for Halo to meet you at the portal that sends you to earth. He'll give you your things and show you off. Farewell, Cupid, till we meet again, approximately…100.9247658733201 years from now." And with that good-bye, the Spirit waved Hao off and disappeared._

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Jeanne stared out the window somberly, robotically sewing a flowery design on a kerchief that meant nothing to her. Grey rain drizzled rhythmically on the windows and shehonestly wishedshe hadn't joined this convent, in her heart.

After Hao's defeat, around five years ago, Marco had shepherded her off to some distant, unobtrusive convent in Japan—the convent she was in now. After that, he had gone and she hadn't seen him for so long. She actually longedHao would come back and cause something exciting to happen.

Ooh, how she would wish later she hadn't thought of that.

The door crept open and the mother nun stuck her head in Jeanne's room. "Jeanne, dear, I have an assignment for you," the elderly maiden said slowly.

Jeanne's ears nearly perked and she looked up at the old woman in black. "C'est vrai?" she asked excitedly, forgetting herself for a moment and speaking her home language. "I mean, really?" she amended quickly, eyes bright.

"A young man has stumbled into our convent…he looked so pale I fear he is sick from the rain. Please, assist him until he is well. Please go wait in the library for him. That will be all."

Jeanne could barely suppress her elation until the nun left the room. After she had finished jumping about like a maniac, she fell down on her bed, staring at the ceiling.

"A young man…?"

Pondering who it could be, the maiden picked up her stitching and headed for the library.

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The door slammed open, ricocheted off the wall, and smashed back into the opener. Jeanne heard a moan and a profanity uttered at the same time, and rushed over to the door, dropping her stitching in the process.

But before she could reach it, the door burst open again. A white, nearly transparent hand stopped it from rebounding. And from the hall stepped her arch-nemesis, the one she would never thought to see again—Asakura Hao, of course.

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Mmm. Didn't like that one too much. It's too rough. –shrug- Sorry for the belated update. X.x C'est vrai means "is it true" in French, and…moo. Yeah, moo. Thanks to the smoothie Padfoot-chan got me at lunch that gave me brain freeze and the idea to write this chapter! REVIEW!


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